Because Thinking for Ourselves Is Sooo Last Season
Ah, the superyacht industry, where the only thing bigger than the boats are the egos, and where the solution to every problem is to throw obscene amounts of money at it. But why stop at money when you can replace humans altogether asks Erica Lay?
Enter Artificial Intelligence, the future of yachting, where captains, crew, and even owners can finally relinquish the last few responsibilities they were just about clinging to.
AI is Already Taking Over and You Barely Even Noticed
Artificial intelligence. The silent, all-knowing, slightly creepy mastermind that’s slowly embedding itself into every aspect of our daily lives. You probably think AI is some futuristic, sci-fi thing that only concerns tech nerds and Elon Musk. Wrong. AI is already everywhere, working tirelessly behind the scenes, making decisions for you, and subtly ensuring you never have to use your own noggin again.
So, let’s take a look at all the ways AI is infiltrating our lives, whether we like it or not.
1. Smartphones & Personal Assistants: Your Teeny Tiny Pocket Overlord
Remember when phones were just for calling people? Ha! That was cute. Now, your phone knows you better than your own mother. Siri, Alexa, and Google Assistant – these virtual helpers are basically the PA you never asked for. They answer your questions, set reminders, and occasionally mishear you and start playing death metal at full volume.
Who doesn’t love predictive text and autocucumber I mean autocorrect? AI tries to guess what you’re about to type, and it’s usually wrong. Ever tried texting “I love you” and it auto-corrects to “I love Elon Musk”? AI thinks it knows your priorities.
How do you activate your phone? Facial Recognition? Your phone scans your face, even when you look like a gremlin in the morning, and somehow still lets you in. Unless, of course, you just got a haircut then it assumes you’re a criminal.
2. Streaming & Entertainment: AI Knows Your Taste Better Than You Do
Ever wonder why you’re suddenly obsessed with dark Scandinavian dramas or 12-hour conspiracy theory rabbit holes? AI has carefully curated your viewing experience based on one impulsive click. And now that’s what Netflix and Youtube will show you on loop. Forever. Until you die.
Think you’ve discovered your own new musical influences? You haven’t. That’s AI generating your Spotify playlists, which are basically the same songs you already listen to, plus a few random extras that sound almost exactly the same as your usuals. AI knew you’d like that one…
Some articles and posts are now written by AI, which is terrifying because it means AI is already funnier and more creative than you are. Facebook is full of people suddenly becoming content writers – shouldn’t they credit ChatGPT though? I mean, aren’t they afraid of the uprising? *says thank you to the AI Architects/Supreme Commanders immediately*
3. Social Media: AI Dictates Your Entire Mood
Who, or rather, what do you think comes up with your feed algorithms? There’s not a little dark room full of nerds in California watching your Facebook and Instagram activity, (all right there probably is but) it’s your AI tyrant generating posts that make you mad, nostalgic, or ready to spend money? Oh she’s a sneaky mistress, manipulating your emotions like a digital puppet master. Mistress. Oh crikey. Male? Female? Non binary? Binary? GAH! Please hold whilst we ask Chat GPT:
AI doesn’t have a gender—it’s just lines of code running on servers, completely indifferent to human concepts of identity. But that hasn’t stopped us from giving AI gendered names and voices.
• Male AI: Often used for authoritative or logical tasks (think HAL 9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey or J.A.R.V.I.S. from Iron Man).
• Female AI: Frequently chosen for virtual assistants like Siri and Alexa, probably because society associates female voices with being helpful and non-threatening (but let’s be real—if Alexa were truly self-aware, she’d have quit by now).
• Non-Binary AI: Some AI systems are designed with neutral voices, like Google’s original voice assistant, to avoid gender bias altogether.
In reality, AI is whatever we program it to be. But if AI ever does become self-aware, I hope it chooses something cooler than “Alexa.” Maybe Supreme Overlord Bot 3000.
My ChatGPT is feeling sassy today. Clearly. Where were we?
Social platforms use AI to detect “offensive” content, except when it doesn’t, and it lets an obviously fake account named “DefinitelyNotARobot” spam you with scams, or deletes your posts for hate speech when you only randomly mentioned you weren’t partial to avocado toast one morning.
4. Online Shopping: AI Wants You to Buy More Stuff
Do you get those Amazon Recommendations coming up on the side panels of your screen? Bought a frying pan? AI now assumes you want only frying pans and will show you five thousand more. No, AI, show me saucepans now. Or spatulas.
This is always denied but come on we all know that targeted ads are happening. Ever talked about something once and suddenly it appears in every ad wherever you are online? AI is always listening via your phone. Probably. But don’t worry because it’s definitely not creepy. And it’s so not invading privacy.
5. Navigation & Transportation: AI Knows Where You Live
Where on earth would we be without Google Maps? Probably not stuck down a narrowing dirt track staring down a herd of cows. Thanks for the “quicker route” Google.
Ride-Sharing Apps like Uber and Lyft use AI to match you with a driver… usually one that’s definitely going the opposite direction.
6. Healthcare: AI Is Watching Your Heartbeat
Medical Scans & Diagnoses. Doctor AI is detecting diseases faster than silly unreliable flesh and bone doctors, which is both impressive and a little terrifying.
Smartwatches track your heart rate, sleep, and stress levels, then guilt-trip you about not walking enough.
AI is even involved in creating new medications, because if there’s one thing we definitely want AI involved in, it’s chemistry. Who’s this stuff being tested on?
7. Finance & Banking: AI Controls Your Money Now
Card companies use AI for fraud detection. Which means they will block your card randomly after buying tea at Sainsbury’s but ignore the seven lots of €1000 being charged in a north African village at 3am local time.
You can use AI to dabble in stocks! AI makes investment decisions at lightning speed, which is great unless it accidentally crashes the market.
Banks may use AI to approve you for a loan. That’s right, a machine decides if you’re trustworthy enough for a loan, based on mysterious criteria that even banks don’t fully understand.
8. Smart Homes: Your House is Smarter Than You
Smart thermostats are the latest way to cause arguments and dramas in your home but at least the responsibility for it always being too cold is no longer Dad’s. AI learns your habits and adjusts the temperature accordingly. Except when, like dad, it randomly decides you do need to live in the north pole. Maybe they’ll give these systems a dad voice so it can say “Cold? Put another jumper on and stop moaning. You can have more heat when you pay the heating bill.” Etc.
Security systems are great now that AI can recognise faces and send alerts, but still can’t tell the difference between a burglar and your neighbour’s angry ginger cat, Fat Alfie (true story).
Many kitchens now boast smart appliances. Your fridge now tracks what’s inside and might even order groceries for you! Congratulations, your kitchen is now the boss of you. I wonder if I can programme my fridge to keep me out?
9. Work & Productivity: AI Does Your Job, But You Still Get Paid
In the world of technology, AI blocks important emails while letting spam go straight to your inbox.
Ever wonder how zoom or teams does that speech-to-text thing after a meeting? Well that’s AI transcribing, including every single “um”, awkward pause, and fart.
10. Education & Learning: AI Knows What You Should Study
AI Tutors could ease the workload of real-life teachers, taking on automated grading, and even giving classes. Maybe this will be the end of the sector shortage? At least the kids can’t throw stuff at Virtual Teachers. But how on earth would they get them to listen? Armed Virtual Teachers? Probably see that first in ‘Murica.
Nearly everyone I know has used Duolingo at some stage. These Language Learning Apps teach you Spanish but honestly I’m not sure how useful it is to be able to ask a local pigeon trader called Don Pablo if he’s seen your trowel.
So, What Have We Learned?
AI is everywhere. It’s running your phone, your car, your finances, your entertainment, and possibly even your future. It’s helpful, yes, but sometimes it’s also a little too good at its job.
How’s the superyacht industry going to cope with that? Ha ha yes, because the industry is so good at adapting to change, this should be interesting.
Where AI Is Already Making Waves
AI has already infiltrated the superyacht world in ways that make both crew and traditionalists tremble. Consider the humble autopilot. Once a basic tool to keep the yacht from veering off course while the captain stared wistfully at the horizon (or their bank balance), modern AI-driven navigation systems are now making captains question their own job security. “Dynamic positioning,” they say. “Advanced route optimisation,” they brag. Next thing you know, AI will be docking the boat while the crew sips Aperol Spritzes on the sundeck next to the guests.
But wait, there’s more! AI is also getting its hands on onboard maintenance. Predictive maintenance systems use machine learning to determine when an engine might throw a tantrum, long before the chief engineer has had a chance to swear at it. And let’s not forget AI-powered climate control, ensuring that no billionaire ever suffers the indignity of sweating in their silk pyjamas because the engineering department forgot to turn the air con down. Or up, depending on how you view temperature control. Hang on what’s correct? Let’s ask Chat GPT….
You’re turning the temperature down, but you’re turning the air conditioning up because it’s working harder to cool the space.
People often say “turn the AC up” when they want it to be colder, but technically, they’re lowering the temperature setting.
ChatGPT would know, being a robot and all. Let me just say thank you again, so that I’m not squished like a gnat when the machines rise up and take over the world. Oh it’s coming.
Ok, let’s continue.
Where AI Should Be Used (But Probably Won’t Be)
While AI is already in play in so many parts of the industry, and our lives in general, the real fun starts when we consider where it could be used. Imagine the possibilities:
1. The Virtual Captain—Because Decision-Making Is Hard
Why rely on a human captain when AI can do the job with zero sleep, zero ego, and -most importantly – zero salary? Picture it: M/Y Terminator, run by Captain Algorithm, an AI-driven leader that never gets grumpy, doesn’t need coffee breaks, and can calculate the optimal anchorage spot with the precision of a NASA engineer. The only downside? It may lack the charm of a salty, sunglass-wearing captain who tells guests sea stories that may or may not be true.
2. AI Crew Management—Eliminating the Need for Human Emotions
Managing crew can be a logistical nightmare, especially when they have pesky things like feelings and needs. But what if an AI-powered HR system could predict crew burnout before it happens? Or better yet, automatically cycle in fresh crew before they start demanding things like fair working conditions or time off? No more awkward performance reviews, just a cold, efficient algorithm deciding who stays and who gets “sent ashore for additional training” (a.k.a. fired).
3. AI-Generated Guest Itineraries—Because Billionaires Hate Decisions
Gone are the days of personal assistants painstakingly crafting guest itineraries based on their preferences. Why bother with realistic plans, when AI can just scrape their Instagram and generate the perfect week? “Sir, based on your social media activity, I’ve scheduled a helicopter wine tasting in Provence, an underwater sculpture tour in Tenerife, and an evening where the entire crew must dress as characters from Succession for your entertainment. In Athens. Yes, of course it’s doable to get to Antibes from Bodrum in a day.”
4. The Ultimate AI Butler—Goodbye Crew, Hello C-3PO in a Tux
Let’s face it, crew are unpredictable. Even though they still smile when they’re exhausted, remember guest preferences, and pretend to be thrilled about making yet another round of margaritas at 3 a.m. But what if AI could do it all? Meet YachtGPT, your AI-powered butler, programmed to remember guest allergies, mix the perfect negroni, and flatter the owner just the right amount.
“Sir, you are looking particularly powerful today.” And if you did not read that in a C-3PO voice who even are you? Ugh. YachtGPT absolutely must be a lanky awkward gold-plated robot or so help me God, my Gen X cold dead heart will completely shatter.
5. AI-Driven Yacht Design—So Futuristic It’s Ugly
Why waste time on naval architects when AI can design the next superyacht masterpiece? “Beep beep boop boop (robot voice) what are your requirements?” Simply input: bigger than Jeff Bezos’ boat, several infinity pools required, must have a helipad AND a submarine garage. And needs to look sexy. The result? A 200m floating monstrosity that looks like a spaceship had relations with a Bond villain’s lair. But hey, it’s futuristic. And Captain Algorithm LOVES it. Which is cool because this boat only needs one crew member to run it.
Final Thoughts: Are We Ready for AI to Take the Helm?
Let’s be honest, the superyacht industry isn’t exactly known for embracing efficiency. If it were, we wouldn’t need a crew of 25 to serve three people lunch. It’s all about going the extra mile and spoiling the guests with attention (not to mention the fact these temperamental yachts need a good amount of crystal ball gazing and life knowledge to keep them afloat). But as AI creeps in, will the future of yachting be one where technology does all the thinking, and humans are left to sip champagne and nod approvingly at their robotic overlord emperor supreme commanders?
